Image

Anonymous

I have typed and deleted this message more times than I can count. I have never been the one to ask for help. I'm usually the one that helps everyone else, possibly to a fault, and I'm the one that puts on the brave face and tells others that it is all going to be okay. I pretend like nothing is wrong because that is so much easier than admitting weakness and defeat. The truth is that somewhere along the line while taking care of everyone else, I forgot to take care of myself. About a year ago, I was working 3 jobs to support my family. I was working 60+ hours a week and somehow managing to be a wife, sister, daughter, friend, and dog mom of 3. I could sit here and tell you my whole story from start to finish, but the end result was my worst nightmare - a divorce that turned my entire world upside down and leaving me with deep feelings of inadequacy and zero self-worth or self-love. I became a shell of a human being, a stranger to myself. I know that I have so much to be thankful for - a great family, great friends, a great job with a steady income, and a new home, but though all of that I still can't seem to find happiness. No matter where I go, or what I do, I feel nothing but sadness. This prayer request seems so inadequate compared to people that are going through much worse than I am, but here we go: please pray that I find closure and happiness in this crazy life and that my heart heals and I can truly find happiness again. Please pray that I can find a way to love myself again because I have never loved myself less than I do at this very moment. Please pray that somehow I can take all of the memories of what my life was, or where I was supposed to be in my life by now, and smile instead of cry. And in return, I will be praying for all of you. Amen.

Received: May 18, 2020